I’ve had it up to here (I will add a screenshot of me on a ladder with my hand against the ceiling) with Spam. I mean, I don’t exactly understand why Hormel decided to stray from ordinary advertising via magazine, television or funny little bits on the Monty Python show. Why did they start marketing through e-mail? Especially to people who obviously don’t want to receive these messages.
I don’t think it would be half as bad if they just came right out and promoted their product up front. Instead, they are masking their product amongst other “faux” products suck as penis enlargement pills, hot stocks, and free money from Nigeria. Hidden deep in each e-mail, somewhere that I can’t even find sometimes, is an ad for Spam.
Sometimes the hints are very obscure. Whenever the e-mails talk about how I need a big piece of meat in my pants? Spam.. It took a while for me to figure it out. Otherwise, why the hell would I want meat in my pants? Plus, the can would prevent the packing juice in the Spam from oozing all over and making my pants smelly.. Yuck! I mean, I am happy to see you, but that is STILL a can of Spam in my pocket.
My other evidence that Hormel is involved it the fact that people are talking about it now. “The scourge of Spam”.. Special task forces in the FDA and the FCC dedicated to fighting all of this Spam e-mail. It’s pretty damn close to terrorism. It seems like once the government got involved, Hormel would have just retreated and changed their tactics. I don’t see an end to this.
So now I go in search of allies. I need some help with this fight. I’ve been trying to bat around some ideas for groups to talk to.. Al-Qaida, PETA, and maybe Mothers Against Drunk Driving.. What. I could talk them into joinging the fight!